Words
AIN’T GOT NO SOLE “I went down to the swollen river, I had no fear of drowning, I peeped over the bridges barrier, into swirling chocolate brown, I went down the banks so slimy, look how it does eddy, I grabbed the nearest branch right by me for myself to steady, held my head in my two hands, I felt I was now ready, had a little clarity pang I lost all my sense of dread, I have no reason to return. Submerged in water up to my waist now my mind revolves in my head, lost my balance my ankle I did twist, my fingers frozen red. I felt like one of those mental bastards, I lost my shoe. How I’ve fooled all my associates, how I loved that shoe, but it has no reason to return”.
AMBIGUITY “how much love can a boy contain in here? how many contradictions can a girl possess up there? these questions are too ambiguous, try to narrow down your search. somethings i know, it’s hard. it’s easy to forget where you came from if there’s no question of your return, such selfishnesses trivialise any tenderness as the coffee commands the torture of my bowels, pronouncing every word with a rigid insensitivity, plus i struggle with the nightshade in my blood. I really shouldn’t say it, but i just love what the water does”.
ANCHOVIES ”
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APOLOGIES “thinking as I do, as the light touches your face, wishing that I could ever be so gentle, meaning not to offend, I fell into a sleep, knowing hypocrites are always going to be, sleep my darling, sleep my darling, how I love you with such just, we have half-life enough to sustain us through the rough, clashes and defence of all we have done wrong, hoping there is a whole where the half used to be, I tried all night to set your body on fire, apologies if I ever acted lazily, apologies if you had to kick me in the side, apologies too if ever there was any doubt, apologies again if ever I was lazy, I weave the gold back into straw, how I love you like I loved you before”.
CIRCLE IS NEVER COMPLETE “There once was a pain on this earthly crust, the cause of my own consternation/consummation, passioned by leaving the one true love, in a far part of this nation. There still is a pain in this chest of mine pulsating and aching so deep. Beneath the fire of my open wounds bleed tears a-fore I go to sleep. Like all winds blow in adversity the circle is never complete”.
ELECTRICITY “might have come to express myself so let’s go somewhere we can really talk, I’ll. end up cooking up some false denial of my apathy, maybe I’m pretentious if I expect these words to have a little twist, I would’ve been much better if I had a little mind to be somehow supportive, I’m sorry to all those folks I could’ve been quite good friends with, it’s not like I said stuff when I was drunk, you know I just can’t work out what my problem is, I’m surprised my logic didn’t spot the mistakes afore I accepted them, don’t you know the electricity is the fundamental cause of everything, in the main all that I can glean is that it is the reason that this world is fucked, underneath our discrepancies is a glint of hope and I call this thing love”.
EVER ROTATING SKY “tapping and tisking in the corner, slowly cooking in the softness, to have glued my hand in place, a fire burns in my guts and my face screws up in delight…the violation of your body, the pieces they fall into the holes, flakes of skin in my mouth, petals trodden into the carpet. like, the ever-rotating sky, this sentiment carries no weight…to have felt the depths of life, and the drowning shallows of death, the storm of the half-sleep the half-sleeping storm, out of the blackness of incompletion into the politics of inconsequence”.
EXECUTION “I wouldn’t take her to an execution, I wouldn’t take her to a live sex show, I wouldn’t piss or shit on her would I, because I love her so”.
I DON’T WANT TO BELIEVE YOU “I don’t want to believe you, it’s probably eyes that break the disguise. I call you baby, and throw stones in the water, standing in the carpark looking at the cars parked, or in the mirror, can’t stand to be stared at it’s only eyes and you knew the disguise so it’s perfect, only wishing is stupid, can’t control where the dice may roll but i found it, behind some memory or something, too much time spent on passion crime, where did it falter, stood at the alter, break my face to move apace up to that winter, knocking on the stone wall, call me a failure and maybe I’ll mail you a letter to tell you I’m lonely, it’s only eyes, break the disguise”.
JOKE “you make me forget what a joke I have become, for all the flowers that I didn’t buy,for all the songs that I didn’t write, for all the days I could’ve spent for all the months we could’ve shared the rent for all the dates on which I turned up late and for all the excuses I could have made, for all the calls I never made and all the attention I never paid for all the gestures bastardised by untruth and all the brittle promises I made to you for all the men you might have met and all the time we cried in secret for all the weeks we’ve been apart and all the times I said that it would start from here on in I’m sorry now”.
LIBERAZIONE ”
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LOOK WHAT I HAVE DONE “I will never forget the love we’ve made, look what i have done. I’ll be the soldier that has nothing to fight, I’ll be the knife that has nothing to slice, and I’ll be the wrong that has nothing to right, I’ll be the cow that has nothing to feed, I’ll be the letter that has nothing to bleed, and I’ll be the penis that has nothing to seed, I’ll be the eyes that have nowhere to look, I’ll be the pot that has nothing to cook, and I’ll be the sticker with nowhere to get stuck. Throw my clothes into the ebbing tide, press my lips up against yours tonight”.
NATURE” I’m going to look through end of this telescope, such is the nature of a fool. I’m going to charge through this china shop, such is the nature of a bull. I’m going to broaden my horizons, such is the nature of aims. but I’m going lose myself with you, going against my idea of change. I’m going to drink until I stink, such is the nature of a drunk, and I’m going to stay underneath for a while now, such is the nature of the sunk”.
ONE DAY “I wish sometimes I was a lonely boy, I would never have to live with the fear, that one day, you may go”.
ONWARDS WE TRUDGE “into the well of ideas I never dropped, off the edge of my better side I popped, a spell of good weather gave me lightness, but the gravity it never went away, and onwards we trudge, a stronghold we claim, is it a stronghold we’ve got? is it balls, the strategy is theoretically right, but is it right? is it balls, oh my love is gone and my faith is shot and I fall to ground like a corpse, I lift my arms to the heavens and shout ‘want can I do?’, and onwards we trudge”.
PERFECT LOUSE “oh for the lengths I have had to go and the further pains of my expression, I want you to expect that they play to you virtues, and that you hold over them a considerable advantage, but like the muck-peddler I have devised the ruin of your purity, and like the rough-shodder I have trampled your good name, I am a perfect louse I bleed the goodness from your body, to think I thought I could change and oh to believe such piffle, I long never to rest in the tomb of my family, or be hoist to the id may I be scattered here with you”.
POTENTIAL OF OUR PROGENY “we should never underestimate the potential of our progeny, with your brains and my look, with my ifs and your buts, with your common sense and my brute force, our rabid intentions and failed discourse, a last ditch attempt to reconcile it all, with your consolation and my content-ment all of these things, I meant all of those things, I peppered my own fear with face, and I wilfully gave in’ I gave into your will although it hurts me so”.
RIVER LAY “a river of love flows through the valley of my heart, and it floods my guts with fear, although the words are soft and clear, they will never bridge the widening divide, despite the generosity of your allies, but like the reeds they dampen the blow, and you you can waste your life on the banks of the river lay, but it won’t mean much if you don’t have something to say, and you can walk with the others but you wont go the same way”.
SO MUCH SIN TO FORGIVE “If you touch your finger with your other finger when you’re not a hundred per cent then you will be feeling yourself again. You don’t turn over like I don’t turn over, because of tension I guess, I didn’t make you happy tonight. I need the doe, and the doe needs me, in a herd of love and trust I am a stag of complacency. God loves a murderer, because there is so much sin to forgive”.
STAYING TRUE “my body is so crap at staying true, to my will and the way I’d like to be, my father’s fist is a brick in my heart, as my face speckled with hormones, my mouth closed in retreat, I mistreated my poor bones and felt the warm hand of defeat, a tip-tap of the finger a heavy drop of the sigh, I though then I held back the shutting shut of an eye
scars on my body are testing the value of time, but I am a grown man and to touch is a personal crime, it never gets easy the sense and the tension compete, as a grown man I’m useless, oh but I’m driven by the fear”.
THE WINDOW ”
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UNMARKED GRAVE “I was a soldier in a far off land, the arrow deep in my side, I would return one day my love, to the heaven’s we would ride. my body rots while she is weeping, I remain forever sleeping, resting my bones from the daily chores, rest my bones forever more. my body lies in an unmarked grave, my heart remains with the one I love, she’s awaiting my return, although I know that will never come. as I decay ‘neath my blanket of earth my heart is yet to be satisfied, a seedling grows on my burial ground, just to wither and die”.
WALKING OVER YOU “I try to pressurise the parts of you I’m wanting, try to manipulate your point of view, I wish that you were not going where you’re going, everybody’s walking over you”.
WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE “Your lambasting of the way that I am to the extent, one retort being that I am simply a second rate event, and I expel all reason in the next thing I said, well thats how it was read, your disciplined mind I hasten to add is all in your head. You found time to berate the simplicities of what I thought, expecting resentment I took you aback with my next exhort. Remember you said, that the way that I think just isn’t right. Well, if you’re so right then why are you not here? When all that i want is for you to be here”.